Everybody's Working For The Weekend

Yes, I know it's Thursday, but today is my Friday. You see, fine fellows, I'm taking tomorrow off to head to New York City to visit some friends, so today is my Friday. So, in typical Friday mode, I'll follow my normal schedule.

8:00 - Show up to work. Jump on a conference call. Check headlines on MSNBC.com

8:17 - Ask "Could you repeat that?" for the fifth time since I'm obviously not paying attention to the conference call. Make promise to self never to let future son be a Congressional page.

9:00 - Head downstairs to get coffee and a bagel. Notice that there are a grand total of three bagels left. Drop a comment in the comment box that suggests that they "Make more effing bagels."

9:13 - Kick off an e-mail train (def. An e-mail addressed to several people wherein each recipient utilizes the "Reply All" feature) about last night's episode of "Lost". A typical Friday would be spent discussing "The Office", but I am incapbable of travleing through time.

9:45 - Say hello to the boss. Make small talk with the secretary. Think about lunch.

9:46 - Think some more about lunch.

10:00 - Start doing some actual work.

10:01 - Check more headlines online. Surprised to see we haven't started another war. Yet.

10:38 - Finalize my sketches for the most inconspicuous way for me to sleep under my desk without getting caught.

11:00 - One more hour until lunch.

11:14 - Continue doing work.

11:16 - Look up description of Adult ADHD online.

11:19 - Seriously, I should probably do some work.

11:50 - Hey, it's Friday. I'll take an early lunch.

1:14 - Hey, it's Friday. I can take a long lunch.

1:15 - Read the latest Sports Guy article on ESPN.com. This week he complains about the Patriots, Red Sox and Celtics and promises to "Light himself on fire." Next week he'll do the exact same thing.

1:54 - Send out "Happy Hour?" e-mails.

2:06 - Berate the engaged or married guys who can't go to Happy Hour because it's "apple picking" season in Ohio.

2:15 - I should probably get some work done.

2:30 - Break time.

3:00 - Begin wondering how early I could leave work without actually getting in trouble.

3:01 - Update my resume just in case.

3:22 - Check back on the boys at Deadspin.com. Wow. T.O. is a crazy motherf*cker.

3:45 - Reply to "work related" e-mails and phone calls. Cross fingers that everyone else left a little early today, too.

3:55 - Time to shut it down.

4:00 - Sneak out the door away from the secretary in order to avoid the "Leaving Early Walk of Shame".

4:03 - "Bartender, I'll take a Miller Lite, please."

Have a great weekend, everyone. I'll give you a NYC re-cap on Tuesday.