10 Things I've Learned

Since I can't come up with any good ideas to write about, I'll detail my latest traveling businessman adventure to Louisville with a list of 10 things I learned over these past few days.

1. When running late, I turn into a complete lunatic. I didn't give myself enough time to get to the airport, so I was a total wreck until I got to my gate. I think I wound up stiff arming a slow moving nun in the terminal.

2. At the age of 26, I am incapabale of buying a Maxim, FHM, or Stuff in public. I have no problem, however, buying a GQ with Jake Gyllenhall on the cover.

3. Southwest has some surprisingly good looking stewardesses. You can even tell that the older ones were pretty hot a few years (and several pilots) ago.

4. It is impossible to open up the complimentary bag of peanuts without using your teeth. Try it. I dare you.

5. Likewise, there is no good way to eat peanuts. Eating them one at a time is ridiclous and shoving a handful of them in your mouth makes you look like a complete slob. (By the way, whatever happened to the honey roasted peanuts? Those things are amazing. Bring 'em back.)

6. Talking on your cellphone while waiting to board the plane makes you a complete asshole. This is especially true if you're waiting in the covered ramp area.

7. Even after 3 glasses of wine, I cannot approach random women at a bar. I had my opening line all teed up and I still couldn't do it. But hey, at least there were good looking women at the bar.

8. Rick Pitinio (the head basketball coach at the University of Louisville) wears white suit jackets ala Miami Vice. (I know this because he was at the same restaurant I was on Monday night.)

9. A non-talking cab driver is much better than a talking cab driver. On my way to the airport, my very talkative cab driver brought up these topics in no particular order: a stabbing, a mugging, picking people up in the ghetto (a big no-no), his step-daughter being placed in state custody, the plethora of rental car dealerships near the airport, and gangs. I preferred the one who didn't say a word and smelled kinda funny.

10. It's much better to have someone pick you up from the airport than to drive yourself home. There's just something about seeing someone who's happy you're home that can't be beat.