Busy, Busy, Busy

I've been insanely busy these past couple of weeks, which is why I haven't had a post up in what seems like forever. I was going to write about how Carl Monday works out at my gym, but when I tried to link to a YouTube clip of him it got blocked by my work internet filter. I'll still write the post, but have to do it from home, so stay tuned.

(As a preview, I can tell you the answer to the most asked Carl Monday question: Boxers or Briefs?)

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(I said I could tell you not that I would tell you. You'll have to wait for it. Check back in 2 weeks when I'm fired from my job for writing a blog about what I do.)

Anyway... Cleveland is hosting the NCAA Women's Final Four this weekend, which means the bars should be absolutely packed with tall lesbians. I can't wait. Good luck to the ladies of all of those schools that made it this far. Enjoy Cleveland and try to ignore the 3,293 separate construction projects going on right now.

Oh, and Ohio State is playing in the NCAA Men's Final Four this weekend in Atlanta, so good luck to Greg Oden and the rest of the Buckeyes. Do not shit the bed like you did against Florida in the BCS Championship game. I can't handle it.

Since this post absolutely blows, here's a YouTube link of Ron Lewis' game tying three pointer against Xavier. This game was played on St Patrick's Day and I watched it in a crowded bar in downtown Cleveland. The place absolutely erupted when he hit this shot, but I still don't think our collective enthusiasm surpassed that of the announcer, the incomparable Gus Johnson. ("Let's it go! HEMAKESITOHHHHHH!")

Sorry

I was totally working on a St Patrick's Day themed post - original, I know - but I got side tracked with - get this - work. So, I apologize for that. I'm too busy to look up any cool YouTube St Patrick's Day videos which should clue you in as to how busy I am. Anyway, have a good St Patrick's Day.

Whatever, Phil!

I think I've watched this thing three times today and it's still funny.

Golf + Geico Caveman + Phil Simms = Brilliance

Here's A New Post For Ya

I've had two (two!) people ask me today where the new posts have been, so here ya go. I've been extremely busy traveling and working, which is why I haven't done any good posts as of late. But I'll give you a run down of what's been going on the past couple of weeks.

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I flew down to Florida with some friends over President's Day weekend. I learned a few things in the process:

1. Never, ever, EVER fly stand-by if you can help it. It sucks. When I get some more time, I'll explain in greater detail. Just trust me on this. And Delta can lick my nuts for having terrible planes and service.
2. If your plane takes off and the landing gear doesn't come up, you can't continue on your flight. But before you turn around and land, the pilot has to burn off some fuel because the plane is too heavy to safely land. This results in circling over the Atlantic Ocean for an extra hour and then heading back to the airport to find out there are no more outgoing flights that night. Basically, it sucks.
3. I am not a club guy at all. While in Miami, we went to Nikki Beach, which is the place to be on Sunday nights. Apparently "the place to be" on Sunday night is an over-crowded, over-priced club filled with German guys in sunglasses who are all on Ecstasy. Needless to say, it sucked balls.
4. I liked Ft Lauderdale about 10 times more than I liked Miami. Apparently, I'm 70 years old and ready for retirement.
5. Over the course of four nights, I used the phrase "This place seems kind of date-rapey" in reference to a bar or club about 30 times. Ladies, if you head down to Florida, buy your own drinks.

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I was in Chicago this past weekend and had an amazing time and I'd love to write about it on here, but I can't because I don't want a written account of what went down. Let's just say that I've told this story to my friends non-stop since I got back on Sunday night and it is more awesome - to me, anyway - each time I tell it. If my name was Jason Mulgrew, I would've written about it on the plane, but that is not my name so I didn't. Just trust me when I tell you that Chicago rocks balls and that no girl is out of your league once you introduce enough alcohol into the situation.

(Author's note: I didn't personally introduce alcohol into the situation. It was there from the get go. Just wanted to clear that up so I didn't come across as a total creep.)

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Finally, work is kicking my ass of late. This project I'm working on has fallen behind schedule and I've had to put in some late nights (7:30!) over the past few days and I'm looking forward to more of those plus working on the weekends. In addition, I'll be traveling throughout most of April and the first half of May. I looked at my schedule today and I'll be in 8 different cities over a 5-week period. I'm hoping to a.) survive b.) not gain 20 pounds from eating out constantly, and c.) take advantage of frequent flyer miles since I have no idea how to do that.

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The posts may be sporadic over the next couple of months, but check back every so often to see if I drop some more knowledge on ya. In the meantime, check out this girl's blog because she is hilarious and I would marry her even if she looked like Rosie O'Donnell. She posts as often as I do, so go check out her archives. Well worth it.

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Oh, and Anna Nicole Smith died. Did you guys hear about that?